Wanted
by FanPyre-09
Summary: Kate Beckett is having a tough time and who else to help her through it than Richard Castle? First kisses, sleepovers, and slightly AU. Inspired by the song "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes and a product of Insomnia. First Castle story and first time I've written in a year!


Kate Beckett wasn't the type of woman to sit and cry for hours in a dark room, surrounded by tissues but she did get depressed on sad occasions like any normal person. Richard Castle knew that today was one of those days, their whole team knew what today was. Even if he didn't know the date and what it meant, he would have been able to tell that something was wrong. They were stuck in the middle of paperwork after wrapping a case involving tanning booths, exotic dancers, and black market organs so none of them had any particular plans for the weekend. Most of the other detectives had left for the night so there was barely a whispered murmur in the bullpen. Kate pushed her hair behind her ear before it fell back into her face and Castle couldn't help but smile. It happened every time and she always made the same face when it did.

"You're beautiful," he whispered across the desk.

"What?" She flicked her eyes to meet his face before returning to the form on her desk.

"You're beautiful," he repeated. He'd never really called her that, at least not to her face, and today was a day she needed to hear something good about herself. He could tell she was distracted and thinking about what today was supposed to be, even if she didn't think it showed. She looked up from the report she was writing to look him in the eye.

"What are you talking about, Castle? We have work to do, stop screwing around."

He couldn't help but smirk: it was typical Kate to focus on work, even when her personal life was falling apart. He leaned across the desk to keep their conversation private.

"I mean it, Kate. You're beautiful, inside and out."

She stopped writing and gave him her best "Shut the Hell Up" face before pushing to her feet, making Ryan and Esposito turn towards her desk.

"I'm gonna call it a night, guys. This'll all be waiting for us Monday morning."

With that, she gave Castle one last glance and walked towards the elevator, leaving the poor author sitting by himself in the dim glow of a desk lamp.

Castle told the guys goodnight before heading for home himself to write but wasn't there long when he realized where he actually needed to be. He deleted the two measly sentences he's managed to put together, told Martha he'd be back late, and grabbed his keys as he went on his way. He made a few stops before reaching his destination, pausing at the door to think about what he was doing and then decided to just knock and see if there was an answer.

Less than ten seconds later, the door was pulled open to reveal a crying Kate in sweatpants and a police academy hoodie, crumpled tissues in hand.

"Castle," she sniffed, "what are you doing here? It's almost midnight." She wiped the tears from her eyes and it almost broke him. Here she was, crying over the loss of someone that couldn't be replaced and he was on the verge of tears himself.

"I, um, thought I'd come by and see how you were doing. I brought Chinese and a couple of your favourite guilty pleasure DVDs." With a grin, he lifted the bag of takeout and a copy of 10 Things I Hate About You.

"No chance of you leaving all that with me and taking off, is there?"

He shook his head, a smirk firmly in place on his lips. It took her a few long minutes to decide whether or not to let him in and he couldn't blame her for wanting to be alone but she finally pulled the door open the rest of the way and let him slide past her. Castle made his way to the coffee table and sat down his support supplies, complete with tissues, before popping in the DVD. By the time he'd returned, Beckett was on the couch, wrapped in an old blanket and holding back tears. Making sure to leave enough space between the two of them, Castle took a seat, pressed play, and began divvying up the food.

"Why are you doing this?" Beckett asked.

"I just thought you could use a friend tonight. Did you want me to leave?" he replied before slurping up some Chow Mein and kicking off his shoes.

"No, you can stay," she managed, pulling the blankets tighter around herself. Aside from when she was in the hospital, Castle had never seen Beckett looking so weak or defeated. It was a side of her that practically no one ever got to see. Pushing some food her way, Castle settled in to watch the ninety's flick that was a modern day version of a Shakespeare classic. The two of them sat in silence until the movie credits came across the screen and Castle turned to see that she had fallen asleep without even touching her food. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen her eat all day. He took the DVD out and was going to head back home when she awoke.

"Castle?" she yawned.

"Yeah?" He paused in his movements so as not to wake her more.

"You can stay, if you want."

He wasn't sure what to say – he'd only meant to check on her and see how she was handling the day, not to stay the night. But, he didn't want to leave her like this, not with her eyes swollen from tears and on the verge of collapse from exhaustion.

"Yeah, ok," he whispered. With a slight grin, she closed her eyes and pulled the blanket even tighter around herself since it had loosen as she slept. Castle moved slower and more quietly while cleaning up the small mess he'd made, all the while thinking of how this sleeping arrangement was going to work out. Finally making up his mind, he leaned down and wrapped his arms around Beckett's small body then made his way towards her bedroom. He'd only been in her new apartment a couple of times since she'd moved after the explosion but he still remembered where everything was. He'd put her to bed then take the couch. What he wasn't expecting was Kate wrapping her arms around his neck as he went to lay her down.

"Beckett," he whispered, "Let go, time for bed."  
"No," she responded, "You stay. I don't want to be alone." She ended on a choked back sob and it took all his strength not to drop her.  
"Ok," he managed.

Practice with a young Alexis allowed him to pull back the covers without dropping her before crawling into bed next to the woman he was in love with, not exactly the way he'd though it would happen but that didn't bother him. As he tried to get comfortable, Kate snuggled further into his arms, nuzzling her head against his chest before resting it underneath his chin. Finally comfortable, Castle closed his eyes to drift off to sleep.

Soft cries sounded beside him a few hours later and made him sit up in a bed that wasn't his own.

"Kate?" He turned to find her and felt her flinch when he made contact with her shoulder.

"Castle? Is that you?" A sniffle followed in the darkness.

"Yeah, it's me. Just Castle." He leaned to turn on the lamp on her nightstand and started to explain but was waved off as a look of remembrance crossed her face.

"Kate?" he called, "Are you ok?" A shake of the head was his answer. "Do you want me to leave?" Another shake. "Do you want to talk about it?" Yet another shake but this time followed up with Beckett sliding across the bed to curl up next to him. She didn't want to talk but he knew that this small gesture meant that she was seeking comfort of some sort. He reached to turn off the light as the pair of them slid back down into bed.

"Rick... do you think I'm ever gonna be ok?" she whispered into his chest.

"Of course you are."

"I, I just don't know anymore. I don't think I can keep going like this."

"I'm here for you, Kate. Just talk to me." He slid further down beside her and pulled her into a hug. After a few minutes of broken breaths, sniffles, and tired sobs, she finally opened up.

"It's his birthday," she whispered.

"I know."

"He was the only one I had left, the only piece of my family, and now he's gone. And all because of a stupid drunk driver." All he could do was hold her, nothing left to say, just hold her.

What seemed like hours but was only minutes passed before either of them moved or said anything else, both were thinking over the past four months and how rough they had been, how differently things could have gone if one stupid college student had chosen to take a cab instead of getting behind the wheel. "He was my father, Rick. My father. And I'll never see him again, never hug him, never be able to call him up just to say hi." She paused. "Never be able to say 'Happy Birthday'." This was the first time since the funeral that she had really talked about him or the accident, even shed a tear. Maybe today was the breaking point, the last push she needed to send her over the edge. All that Castle could do was be there for her. "After my mom died, he was all I had. It was us against the world. Now who do I have?"

"You have me."

She sniffled before saying, "Yeah, until someone better comes along."

"There is no one better, Kate. How many times do I have to tell you? You are beautiful, inside and out. I don't think I know anyone quite like you. And even if I weren't here, you still have the guys and Lanie to be there for you. You and I both know that she'd drop everything and do anything if you called and you'd do the same for her. Admit it, you two are practically sisters." He ended with a small laugh and even managed to get a chuckle out of her.

"I, I just don't know if I can keep it all in anymore, ya know? It's hard to always be the strong one, never being able to let it show when something bothers me."

At this point, they were past whispering and Castle wasn't sure they were talking exclusively about her father anymore.

"That's the thing, Kate – you don't have to always be the strong one. You're only human, we all know you have emotions like the rest of us. You can't be afraid to take a moment to just breathe. That's why I came over here tonight, I had a good feeling that you'd need someone to let you know it was ok to cry, to miss him. He was your father, Kate, and I know how much he meant to you. I know how scared I was when I thought I lost you after you got shot, I can only imagine how I would feel if I lost mother or Alexis."

She lifted her head from his chest and looked into his tired blue eyes with her red teary ones with a slight smile on her lips.

"Ya know, I'd fall apart without you," she whispered. He didn't miss the flickering of her eyes to his lips and back, or the way she leaned in slowly. It was the biting of her bottom lip that did him in. But just before their lips made contact, she paused and said, "How do I know you're not just saying all this because we haven't slept together yet?"

Surprised, he replied, "Because you deserve to feel wanted and loved and I want to be the one that makes you feel that way. I would never intentionally hurt you, Kate, and I would never take advantage of you like that."

"Good answer,"she whispered through a smile before pressing her lips to his.

It didn't last long, their first real kiss, but it was more than enough to time to get both their hearts racing, as soft and gentle as it may have been. There were untapped feelings in that brief moment, feelings both of them had been avoiding until tonight. They had been doing the relationship dance since just before her father had died but it had been put on hold for the past four months, only picking up when they were left alone for extended period of time, like with the undercover work they had both had to put in on this last case. The events leading up to this moment had given them the push they both needed.

As they pulled away from one another, there was a smile on both faces that were only seen by glimpses of streetlight through the window.

"Why don't we get back to sleep? It's nearly four and I know somewhere I want to take you in the morning," Castle said as he pushed himself from the floor.

"Where's that?" she asked.

"Where else? To visit your did."

It took all she had to hold back the tears and all she could manage in return was a simple smile as she climbed into bed and snuggled close under the blankets. Castle didn't miss the silent tears as he drifted off to sleep, he knew she needed it, probably more that she needed him. Just before he was fully under, he heard a whisper in the dark.

"Rick?"  
"Yes," he murmured.

"Thanks."

"For what, exactly?" he asked as he popped one eye open.

"For everything," she yawned, "For letting me know that it's ok, for being here when I didn't know I needed you, and for making me feel like someone out there still cared about me. Just, thanks."

He could hear the smile in her voice and was glad he put it there.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"With me around, you'll always be wanted."


End file.
